| WorkThe Year. My Year The Year. My Year1932. 1 I am born. 1933. 2 I find there is a twin brother. 1934. 3 I find there is an older sister. 1935. 4 I say to my twin brother, “Watch this!” My twin says to me “Watch this.” 1936. 5 My older sister tells me that I am a boy and I bury my doll. 1937. 6 My teacher tells me of course we do not know when we are to die. I always knew that I would die at the age of 82. We all know when we are to die. 1938. 7 I don’t believe in arithmetic and only like number 8 and use it in answering arithmetic problems but it doesn’t seem to work. I have been roosting with the chickens. They don’t seem to mind. 1939. 8 I know the alphabet. My birthday is in August and I was given the alphabet made of rubber erasers. They smell so good and look so good. Each letter is an inch long, but they do not erase well. The T is impossible to erase with, but the U and D are usable. I enjoy handling them and realize that I have learned the ABCs. These letters make words and all I need is to remember how they are arranged to spell all words. I do have trouble with the word Honest. I always have, but when I find Honest starts with the letter H, I am disappointed. First of all, I don’t like H. It doesn’t erase at all, it’s the same upside down, so I threw it away. The word Honest isn’t really honest. Spelling enough is another difficulty. I learned to spell it and realized that it’s the wrong word for itself. Enough doesn't mean enough, it’s just a way of solving a problem. 1940. 9 I have a pig. My Dad named her Moleste. She unties shoe laces and smiles all the time. I enjoy watching pigs grovel in mud at any time. They have a strong smell and their smell travels in the wind. It makes me think of them and I go and see them groveling in the mud and smiling. 1941. 10 We milk cows. We sing in the evening but we’re quiet in the morning. 1942. 11 I have my own room. I will never wear shoes all the time. I painted my room yellow ochre. 1943. 12 I can leap very well. I have learned to do the split, and I climb every tree I see. A sycamore tree is a good tree to climb. There is an experience of being welcome when high in the limbs of this tree. When I visit my Aunt, she takes me through her house showing her fruit preserves, her kitchen and even her bedroom with all of her clothes. I don't know what to say, but it is a comfortable visit always. She is like a sycamore tree which shows all of its belongings when climbed up into. Never climb an evergreen, they don’t like it. 1944. 13 I am plowing with a horse. It is interesting following a horse all day and being the leader. A horse does what you tell it to do. The turning of the soil is rewarding and the smell makes me ambitious. Then, after an hour, I go into a reverie, a sort of dream. The horse obeys, the monotony is accepted and time dissolves. Such a wonderful spell. During these spells I compose songs. “All Through the Ages” is my best yet. 1945. 14 I have learned to drive a truck. Does God design sunsets or is it up to dead artists who have gone to heaven. 1946. 15 I want to be a Saint. I keep my eyes down and think good. 1947. 16 I went to Saint School. I am still trying to be a Saint and have gone to a monastery during my third year of High School where I continue the schooling, but also learn the Holy Rule of St.Benedict. Here one can become a priest or a Brother. I think that a priest has too much to do saving souls. A brother does menial work, stays at the monastery living a quiet life practicing that Rule: Ora et Labora: Pray and Work. So I have pinched up my worldly thoughts, got into the required habits of this place, and getting along fine. They furnish everything here, even a black wool robe to wear. At times I think that it was this wool habit that attracted me here. It is nice to walk around in and see your shadow on a sunny day. It is also nice being with others all in wool habits all learning to be Saints. We were kept very busy and I found contentment, but after a year, I began seeking something else. I cannot be a saint if I become an artist. I look at everything now as an artist would and I have returned to my home on the farm finishing my last year of High School. This is the year I ran away. It is September. The crops are all in. I made $300.00 on my watermelon row and have decided to go to Florida for the winter. Perhaps I could catch a freighter boat that will take me to Europe. I have a fascination for running away. You don’t really run, you pack a suitcase, and arrange to get to the highway going south. It is quite wonderful paying no attention to the day or the night, just keep hitchhiking from wherever you have been dropped off. I was free and able to hide under bridges for the night, talk to strangers, making up another name while moving farther and farther from home. Now, what about money? I realized that I was soon to be out of money. How did that $300.00 go so fast? I only had candy bars to eat and that was not enough, so I turned around, crossed the road and began hitchhiking the other way; North. This happened while I was leaving Daytona Beach, Florida, after spending the night on the beach. This running away took from a Sunday to the following Sunday. When I returned home, My Dad said, “The Prodigal Son Hath Returned.” 1949. 18 I am studying French at the college near my home. My French teacher has become a good friend and is able to notate my song “All through the Ages” for piano. 1950. 19 I am now in Chicago. If I were my Dad, I wonder if I would be able to do all he has done for me. One gets those thoughts traveling on a train. I am in the first year of art study at the Art Institute of Chicago. This school is actually in the Museum’s building. Students enter through the main Museum's entry, walk through the galleries to get to the classrooms, which are found everywhere in the building. Such a pleasure to go to class seeing the different collections, and everything is marble: the floors and all the steps. US55419526 I am drafted into the United States Army, on a military bus going to Fort Knox, Kentucky, where the sergeant in charge tells us to look at the number that we’ve been given and learn it so well that you will always remember it US
The Army and Monastery are similar. Your clothes, housing and food are all supplied. The army is for the young. When you’re young enough to be talked into the spell of the habit. You don’t think, you do, and young people fall right into it. The army is so well arranged with, truly, an answer for anything. So, I walk around with my eyes down doing everything that I am told to do like when I was trying to be a saint. 1952. 21 The Army has sent me to Germany being on a troop ship for five days going only one way. 1953. 22 Heidelberg. I met an American student from the University of Heidelberg who learned French in German. 1954. 23 From Heidelberg I can travel. I went to Holland and saw Vermeer paintings. I have been to London and Amsterdam. 1955. 24 I am no longer in the Army and have returned to Chicago where I study art courses, wear only black and do not go to coffee breaks. 1956. 25 I live alone studying art history and paint fugues at night. 1957. 26 I painted a poster for the Lyric Opera, and found out I could be an extra in their productions. I carried a spear in “Othello” and carried a man on my back in "La Gioconda.” 1958. 26 I am a Bachelor of Fine Arts, moving to New York City. I visited New York while in the Army. 1959. 27 Now living in New York, studying ballet at the Metropolitan Opera House. After class we look down from above and watch the opera. 1960. 28 Dancing on tour. In New York I live in a loft on Fulton Street. 1961. 27 I am rising higher than ever before and there are people rising with me. We see those whom we know not rising as we pass and say hello as we rise. 1962. 30 I am living in a loft and painting pictures. 1963. 31 I copy masterpieces to see what I can do. 1964. 32 I am in love. I say I can’t help it, but I can and I don’t. That’s falling in love. 1965. 33 Painting exhibition: Allan Stone Gallery 1966. 34 I paint all the time. Isolating a commonly known image from a known painting. 1967 I am in England 1968 Notebook entry c. 2002-2006 |